Learning to Love Again
by Horch
Summary: Annie Odair was a woman who loved and lost. This is what happened after her entire world crumbled down. Post-Mockingjay, written for Maristela Freesia's 100 Theme Challenge.
1. Finding A New Love

**Written for Maristela Freesia's 100 Theme Challenge.**

**Enjoy. Review, please?**

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><p>Theme One: Love<p>

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><p>Annie glanced down at the bundle in her arms. She couldn't help but think of Finnick.<p>

She missed him so much. She missed the little bits of him—the scent of his bronze hair just after he finished swimming, the salty taste of his lips, the sweet kisses he gave her even when she wasn't feeling sad. People always said that Finnick was considered the handsomest man in all of Panem—that was true. But Finnick was more than that.

Finnick was kind to her, even after the rest of the world turned their back on her; even after she failed to save his little brother during her Hunger Games. Whenever he talked to her, the seductive purr in his voice disappeared and the words he spoke sounded—no, _were—_genuine. She loved him for that.

Why did he have to leave her? It wasn't fair. Finnick didn't do anything to deserve death. Annie wanted to join him so badly, but she knew that wasn't what Finnick would have wanted.

"Mrs. Odair?" the nurse asked, calling her attention. Annie liked the sound of that. Mrs. Odair. "What is the name of your child?"

Annie paused.

Yes, Annie had lost the love of her life. Just thinking about it brings tears to Annie's sea-green eyes. She knew that no one could ever replace Finnick. Finnick was special; he held a place in her heart. She doubted she would love someone that much ever again.

But then, she realized that there was someone. Someone she would love as much as she loved Finnick.

And that someone didn't have a name… yet. That is, until Annie sucked in a deep breath and replied, "Finnick Odair."

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><p><strong>For Themes 1-10, I'll be writing about Annie and her child.<strong>


	2. This Was Her Light

**Chapter two! Hope you enjoy! Please review. (:**

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><p><span>Theme 2 - Light<span>

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><p>Annie gazed at the sunset longingly. She loved how the sunlight painted streaks of orange and pink on the ocean. It was beautiful in such a subtle way. It reminded her of Finnick, and she wondered if Finnick was watching it, too. She felt a few tears slip past her eyelids.<p>

"Mommy!" Annie turned around to see her three-year-old son running towards her. "Mommy!"

"Finn," Annie called back. Finn ran into her and buried his face into his mother's shirt. Annie, in turn, put her arms around Finn.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" Finn asked once he looked up. "Are you awright?" Annie paused to think about her answer. She didn't think Finn was ready—at his age, he was far from ready. But at the same time, Annie felt like she couldn't lie to him, just like how she couldn't lie to Finnick.

"The sunset is beautiful, isn't it?" Annie asked, changing the subject. Finn nodded and didn't prod her any further. "Your daddy used to take me here all the time."

"Mommy? Who's Daddy?" Finn asked, his lips a thin line.

Annie took a deep breath. Was she ready to tell this to Finn yet? She realized, no, she wasn't. And neither was Finn. "Your father… was a wonderful man," Annie said, treading carefully. "He's the reason why I'm alive right now. He saved my life, Finn. Over and over again."

"So you mean… Daddy was a superhero? Like Auntie Katniss and Uncle Peeta?" Finn asked hopefully.

"…Yes, something like that," she replied. She tousled Finn's hair. He laughed. Annie smiled faintly. Even though her world fell into darkness the day Finnick died, she was still able to find a light. Her very own light—Finn.


	3. It Was Dark Outside

**Theme 3 - Dark. Actually, I have no idea what this has to do with darkness. Except for maybe the weather. It's dark. So, yeah...**

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><p><span>Theme 3 - Dark<span>

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><p>It was raining really hard, and Annie hated it.<p>

First of all, Annie couldn't see anything. Although it was only seven in the evening, it was already as dark as it would be at midnight. The sky was a dull shade of gray—nearly black, actually. Occasionally, however, lightning struck and lit up the sky. Annie would be fine with it if there was any electricity, but there was none.

Voices called out to her, whispering many things. But one voice stood out the most—Finnick's. _Don't listen to them, _Finnick's voice told her over and over again. She shut her eyes. Annie felt an ache in her heart, and tears accumulated behind her eyelids, waiting to be free. Finally, the tears won and slipped past her eyelids. Annie choked out a sob.

"M-Mommy?" another voice asked her. "A-Are you okay?" Annie bit her lip; was this voice real or just another fragment of her imagination? Only one person called her Mommy. "Mommy?"

Annie opened her eyes and saw a boy with sea-green eyes and bronze hair hugging his pillowcase—Finnick's and her son. "Finn," Annie said to the three and a half year old. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep," Finn replied.

Annie had nothing to say. "I can't sleep either," she said finally. Finn sniffed and ran straight into her arms. Annie rubbed his warm back. She stood up, took a quilt from the closet and draped it over him.

"M-Mommy, I'm scared," Finn said in a trembling voice, wrapping his arms around his mother, which made the fearful thoughts in Annie's head swirl around before disappearing altogether. "The monsters might get me."

"The monsters won't get you, Finn. I'm here," Annie said a little unsurely.

"I know, Mommy."


	4. Her Source Of Solace

**This one's kind of cliche, but... it was all I could think of. Please review! And hey, I decided to extend this one a bit. Instead of 10 themes, I'm going to try to nail 15 themes with this one. Yay!**

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><p><span>Theme 4: Seeking Solace<span>

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><p>Every morning, Annie would wake up screaming. And this morning was no exception.<p>

_"Annie, I love you." Finnick's hand slid into hers. "Nothing can and will ever change that, okay?" _That was when her dream ended. "Finnick!" Annie shrieked. She spread her arms across the bed, and felt nothing. Tears rolled down Annie's cheeks. "Don't leave me!"

The door creaked open, revealing her five year old son. His face was clouded with worry. "Mommy, please don't cry," he said. Annie sat up. Finn looked at her anxiously. Annie's dark hair was a tangled mess, and her tears made some strands of it stick to her face.

Finn walked towards her, took off his slippers, and knelt down on the bed. He rubbed his mother's back while she sobbed. Annie felt ashamed. She was the mother—it was her job to protect her son, her Finn. To hold him while he was sad, to wipe his tears when he cried. Not the other way around.

"Mommy," Finn called. He gently removed Annie's hand from her face and held it. "Mommy, don't cry anymore." But Annie wouldn't stop. "Mommy, please, don't be like this." Finn's voice shook. He placed his arms around Annie.

Annie's shame turned to guilt. She summoned up all her remaining courage and whispered, "I'm sorry." She was sorry that he had to see her like this. She was sorry that he had to endure teasing from the other kids just because she, Annie Odair, the crazy widow from District Four, was his mom.

Annie hiccupped. Finn didn't say anything, and just kept patting her back.

When Annie was done crying, she told her source of solace, "Thank you."


	5. Her Heart Broke Slowly

**Well, in this chapter, Annie felt a part of her heart break away (figuratively) when the guy bullied her son. So... yeah. Please review!**

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><p><span>Theme 5: Break Away<span>

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><p>It was three o' clock in the afternoon. Therefore, it was time for Annie to pick up her seven-year-old son from school.<p>

Annie stayed in the designated area for fetchers and waited patiently. She thought she heard whispering, and a few 'Cresta's and 'crazy's here and there. Annie trembled in her coat and tried her hardest not to cry as she watched the other children rush through the doors and into their mothers' arms. Where was Finn?

Suddenly, Annie saw something that made her stomach lurch forward. A boy with familiar bronze hair was dashing down the steps. His head was buried in his hands, and it was obvious that he was crying. "Finn!" Annie couldn't help but shout.

At the sound of his mother's voice, Finn turned in her direction and started running to his mother. "M-Mommy!" he called back. Annie saw tears glisten in his sea-green eyes.

Upon reaching her, Finn wrapped his arms around her waist. "Mommy!" he cried. "I-I…"

Annie's jaw shook as she watched him cry. She had to do something about it. She knew she had to. "Shh," Annie whispered to Finn. "Let's go home, Finny." Finn sniffed. She placed her hand on Finn's shoulder and held it tightly. Annie was starting to lead him away when she heard a voice.

"Hey, it's Loser and his crazy mother!" Annie spun around, knowing full well it was meant for her and Finn. Suddenly, a chubby boy with meaty fists jumped out of the bushes and shoved her son to the ground.

Annie summoned all of her courage and shouted, "Leave him alone! He didn't do anything to you!" She felt her heart break as the boy slapped her son in the face.

_Finnick, please help me. _All the strength she had in the Games all those years ago came back to her. She instinctively pushed the boy off her son. She quickly helped her son up and led him away, tears springing from her eyes.


	6. He Is Too Innocent

**In this chapter, Finn asks his mother about the Hunger Games, and Annie breaks down because she feels that Finn is too young, too innocent, for the topic. So... hope you like it. :) PLEASE REVIEW! Oh, and don't flame please.**

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><p><span>Theme 6: Innocence<span>

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><p>Finn looked at Annie, his eyebrows scrunched together. "Yes?" Annie asked him as she shuffled around the kitchen.<p>

"Mommy," asked the eight-year-old. "What are the Hunger Games?" Annie stopped right in her tracks. _The Hunger Games. _How long has it been since she heard those words? Many years, she supposed, for nobody in their right mind would mention it in front of her. But here was her own son, her baby, bringing it up.

"E-Excuse me?" Annie's voice squeaked.

"The Hunger Games," Finn said firmly. Annie's knees turned to jelly. She took deep breaths and tried to calm herself. _In. Out. In. Out. In… and out._

"How'd you find out?" Annie whispered. "Who told you about it?" Her voice was louder now. Finn didn't respond. "_Finnick. Odair. _W-Who told you?" Annie's voice cracked as she felt her knees give way. Annie quickly put herself together and scrambled up the stairs.

But when Annie got to her bedroom, she fell apart again. She collapsed on her bed and started sobbing. _He's too young, _Annie thought as she wept. _He's too… too innocent. _Yes, that was the word. _Innocent. _

"Mommy?" Finn's voice entered her ears. "Mommy, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you."

_Pull yourself together, Annie, _Annie told herself. _Finn's talking to you. _Annie sat up and wiped her tears from her cheeks. "That's okay," Annie replied softly. Finn walked over to Annie and placed his arms around her neck.

"I love you, Mommy," Finn blurted out.

Annie froze. When was the last time she said that to Finn? In the eight years Finn had been living, had she said that to him at all? She swallowed. "I love you too, Finn," she answered.


	7. Holding Her Breath

**Theme 7 - Breathe Again. :)**

**I hope you like this fanfic so far, because I've been working hard on it. Well, anyway, on this chapter, Finn asks Annie a question. I won't spoil it. Enjoy! The usual: Please review. Flames are NOT appreciated, thank you very much.**

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><p><span>Theme 7: Breathe Again<span>

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><p>"Hey, Mommy," eleven-year-old Finn said, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.<p>

"Hi, Finn," Annie replied. "How was school today?"

Finn shrugged. "It was pretty okay. Well… actually, I saw this guy in my class—his name is Jay—who was shoving his pencil up his nose while we were taking the math test. It was pretty funny." He paused dramatically. "Well, the pencil got stuck there. He couldn't get it out, so the pencil kind of dangled for a while."

Annie giggled. "What happened next?"

"Our math teacher didn't notice, and no one wanted to point it out, probably because it was too funny. But during History, Ms. Blackwell pointed it out and told him to go to the nurse's office." Finn's face suddenly darkened. Annie, alarmed, took a step forward. They were almost home. Just a few more blocks. "Speaking of History…"

Annie couldn't stand it anymore. She turned to him. "What?"

"Well, today," Finn said, shifting uncomfortably, "we learned about the heroes of the second rebellion. Aunt Katniss was there. So were Aunt Johanna, Uncle Peeta, and Uncle Gale. And…" he paused hesitantly, "Daddy was there, too."

Annie's heart almost stopped. "Finn…"

"Ms. Blackwell told us about what happened to Daddy. She said that he was eaten by lizard mutts. Is that true?" Annie stopped and released the air she didn't know she was holding.

"Yes," Annie whispered. She felt a pang of sadness. _Finnick, come back to me._ "Yes," she said in a louder voice.

Finn considered this for a moment. "Oh… okay. I wish he were here, though," he replied.

At last, they reached their home. "Me too," Annie said softly as Finn entered the house. She inhaled the fresh air. Finally, she felt like she could breathe again.


	8. Essays and Memories

**Sorry I took so long to update! I've been so busy with tests. Please tell me what you think!**

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><p><span>Theme 8: Memory<span>

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><p>"Urgh! Ms. Blackwell is going to <em>fail <em>me if I don't get this in by tomorrow!" twelve-year-old Finn groaned.

"She won't do that," Annie told him, not looking up from her paper. "Ms. Blackwell is not going to fail you over homework, Finn."

"It's not homework, Mom! She said that this is my last chance to pass History!" Finn said miserably. "And that's not it! For me to pass, she said I'd have to answer all of these questions correctly."

Annie, worried about her son, stood up and headed over to him. She placed her hand on his shoulder and peered over at the piece of paper he was answering. _Important __Figures __in __the __Second __Rebellion,_ it said on top of the page. Below that were the following words: _Katniss __Everdeen, __Peeta __Mellark, __Finnick __Odair, __Johanna __Mason, and __Annie __Cresta._

She scanned the paper. Annie felt a dull ache in her chest as she realized that it was to be answered by writing five essays—one essay per question. She could see that Finn had answered everything correctly except for one, which he had not answered at all.

_Why __was __Annie __Cresta __such __an __important __figure __in __the __rebellion __when __she __was __not __directly __involved __in __any __form __of __rebel __activity?_

A memory shot through her, and suddenly, she was in the Capitol prison, waiting for the District Thirteen soldiers to come and rescue her. She didn't wonder why she was abducted by the Capitol because she knew why.

Their reasons could be summed up in one word: _Finnick. _They knew Finnick was a rebel, and they thought that he would do anything to get Annie back—even tell them rebel secrets.

"Please help me," Finn pleaded. "You've got to know this, Mom."

Annie's voice died in her throat as she tried to answer him. Finn handed her a pencil and a separate sheet of paper. "Don't worry, Mom, I'll rephrase this and copy it on the real paper myself. Leave that to me."

Annie's hands trembled as she started to write.


	9. She Couldn't Take It

**Hope you like this. (:**

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><p><span>Theme 9: Insanity<span>

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><p>The thirteen-year-old looked up from the book he was reading. "Mom," Finn said, "you never told me about what happened to you." Annie froze in her tracks and turned to him, asking him a silent question. <em>What? <em>Impatiently, Finn continued. "You never told me that you went mad."

"'Mad'?" Annie asked softly. She shuffled over to Finn and glanced at the title of the book he was reading. _Finnick __Odair__— __A __Boy, __A __Victor, __A __Friend, __A __Hero. _Oh, no wonder. "Why are you reading that?"

"I want to know the answers to the questions you never answered," Finn said fiercely, surprising Annie with his tone. "I want to know what happened between you and Dad. I want to know about the Hunger Games. I want to know what happened to _Dad, _because you won't tell me."

"I-I-I…" Annie found herself stammering. "You never asked."

"I did, many times," Finn replied. "You didn't answer me. All you did was cry."

Well, Annie certainly felt like crying now.

"And what's this about you going mad?" Finn continued. "Why did I only learn about this now? I never knew all this happened to you. Why didn't you _tell _me, Mom?" The words. They rose up her chest, but died in her throat. Annie couldn't speak.

_Why __didn__'__t __you _tell _me, __Mom?_

She didn't tell him because the truth was cruel. Because she knew that the truth would hurt him. Or was it because she knew that telling him the truth would hurt _her_? Either way, she figured, it didn't matter. She had to tell him. It was now or never.

"Mom?" Finn's tone was a little gentler now.

"Finn," Annie said, surprised that she found the courage to speak. "I'm sorry." Finn looked at her, shocked that she was apologizing. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I know I should have, but I didn't." Annie shifted uncomfortably.

"So… why?" Finn asked.

"I didn't tell you about me… about your dad… because I thought that the truth about everything would hurt you. But I realized that I was only holding back the truth because I knew it would hurt _me_," Annie said. She felt the tears rising up, pouring down, but she didn't care.

"Mom." Finn's voice wavered. "It's okay. But please, answer me. What made you go mad?"

_Tell __him._"It was the pain," Annie said. "The pain… it hurt so much. I couldn't take it. I was okay on the outside, but on the inside, I couldn't… my soul was full of wounds that just wouldn't heal. And only your father…" Annie smiled, "was able to help me."


	10. A Tiny Silence For Him

**SO SORRY for the extremely late update! :( This chapter is rated T because of something just a bit suggestive in Finn and Clair's conversation...**

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><p><span>Theme 10: Silence<span>

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><p>"Where are you going?" Annie asked.<p>

Finn shook his head. "Nowhere. Just… to Clair's house. No need to worry, Mom; I'll be all right." Seeing the look on Annie's face, Finn added, "I'm thirteen; I'm old enough to walk around Four by myself, aren't I?" Annie opened her mouth to speak, but found herself unable to argue.

She swallowed instead. "But be _very_ careful, okay, Finn?" Finn nodded. "Don't do anything stupid."

Finn smiled. _He __looks __so __much __like __Finnick, _Annie thought. "You know I won't, Mom."

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><p>Finn felt guilty as he trudged up the hill leading to his father's grave. "Finn, you shouldn't have lied to Annie," Clair said. "You should have just told her that you were going to visit your dad."<p>

Finn looked at Clair. With her wispy red hair and soft green eyes, she looked nothing like her adoptive mother, Johanna. They differed in personality, too—Clair was shy and quiet while Johanna was… well, quite the opposite.

"Well, if you ask me," Finn replied, "you should have told Johanna the truth, too. Now she probably thinks we're going to do some really suspicious stuff."

Clair raised her eyebrow and grinned. "Oh, really? What kind of suspicious stuff?"

"…Never mind," Finn said under his breath. "Forget I said anything."

"Well, you said something. And besides, the thought of it is just… absurd. I mean, we're just friends, right?" Her cheeks turned a faint shade of pink as she said this. "Maybe even best friends, if you're willing to call it that."

"Sure, why not." Finn handed Clair a bottle of water. "Here, you're obviously thirsty."

"Thanks." Clair uncapped the bottle and took a long sip from it.

"No problem." Finn stopped walking. "Hey, we're here. You know, I really understand now. Why they buried Dad here, I mean." Finn and Clair stared at the scene before them in amazement. Birds chirped happily as colorful flowers dotted the meadow, and the plants that were placed around the grave, which was marked by smooth slab of rock, swayed with the wind.

"Yeah… me too."

Finn walked closer to the grave, and saw that a smooth stone had been placed in front of it. "What's this?" Finn muttered as Clair set down a bouquet of flowers.

"What's what, Finn? It's just an ordinary stone."

"Well… I guess—" Finn turned the stone over and saw a piece of paper stuck under it. "It's not. There's a piece of paper under it, and it looks like someone cried while writing on it."

_Goodbye, Finnick. Even though you're gone, my heart always will be yours._

At that moment, time seemed to freeze. The birds stopped singing, and everything was silent.


	11. Bloody Murder, Said She

**Okay... I'll admit it. I had NO inspiration at all. That's why I took so long to update.** **Sorry! Anyway, thanks for bearing with me, guys. And by the way, from this chapter until the end, I'm going to be focusing more on Finn's life instead of Annie's. (:  
><strong>

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><p><span>Theme 11: Blood<span>

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><p>Finn looked up at the clock. He sighed in relief; it was nearly time to go home. "Finally," he muttered to himself. "Ten more minutes." Just as he was about to pass out and subtly sleep away the last ten minutes of the day, he heard a light tapping on the door.<p>

Ms. Something, whose name Finn just cannot remember, opened the door then closed it. She looked at Finn. "Finn, your mother's here."

Finn's heart raced as he slowly strode to the door. _What did I do? _he thought. He quickly made a list of the not-so-nice things he did that week. "Mom?" he asked as he closed the door behind him. "What happened?"

Annie looked like she had been crying. "She's dead," she whispered. "Johanna… she was…" Finn hugged his mother as she began sobbing hysterically. "Murdered."

Finn's heart stopped cold. "What did you say?"

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><p>"I-I…" Clair sobbed. "I was with Mom, and it just… happened. We were about to pass a certain alley as a shortcut to school. The alley… it was dark and it smelled of smoke. Just as we were about to leave and use another shortcut, a guy stepped forward."<p>

"Oh, Clair," said Annie sympathetically.

"That guy… he had a gun on him." Clair wiped her eyes, trying to stop the tears. But they kept on coming, so she decided to give up. "He held it up and…" Clair shut her eyes tightly as the scene played itself in her mind. Suddenly, she felt nauseous. Clair opened her eyes and saw Finn's concerned face.

"Are you feeling okay, Clair? You look sick," Annie said. She turned to Finn. "Finn, please get her a glass of water." Finn nodded and left.

"I heard a gunshot," Clair whispered. "I felt something wet on my dress… and I guess I fainted after. W-When I woke up… Mom's body was right in front of me. And blood… all that blood…"


End file.
